One To Five
by PhoenixFalls
Summary: There are some people who just need to get punched in the mouth... (established Jemily; one shot. Rating for language)


Emily grinned as JJ tried to stop laughing long enough so that she'd be able to catch her breath. Truth be told, she had been a little wary when the blonde asked to be regaled with the most absurd stories Emily had in her arsenal during her time as Morgan's wingman, but there had been no reason to be. After JJ (rightfully) called her out on the relatively tame nature of the first story, she'd had her girlfriend in stitches ever since (though she did keep the more incriminating ones to herself since Morgan wasn't there to defend himself anymore). They'd been dating seven months and tonight they were out celebrating. Strauss had found out they were dating several weeks beforehand and even though the Dragon Lady had tried, she ultimately couldn't do anything to break up the team. After all, they'd been dating for long enough before Strauss had known to establish that they could work together just fine. A little intervention meeting with Rossi, and as of that day, Strauss was officially off their backs.

They'd gone out to celebrate with the team and though everyone else had left, Emily and JJ stayed to lengthen their evening. They didn't have work the next day and it was incredibly freeing to not have to hide that they were a couple just because they were in a place that was sometimes haunted by other FBI employees. Emily watched as JJ picked up her phone when it vibrated against the bar counter, her face flushed a little from laughing and a little from alcohol. Emily smiled when the blonde leaned over, gladly accepting the kiss she pressed to her lips.

"I'll be right back, I gotta call Pen." JJ breathed against the brunette's lips, kissing her again as if it were impossible to be that close and not do it. She slid off her bar stool and squeezed Emily's shoulder as she made her way past, pausing briefly behind her to murmur suggestively in her ear, "when I come back, we're gonna dance."

"Dance, huh?" Emily ignored the thrilled shiver that rippled down her spine. "You mean here, or…?" she teased without looking at the blonde, knowing her implication was more apparent in the husk of her voice than the playful delivery. She wasn't able to suppress the sudden frisson that shuddered through her when JJ ran her tongue along the bottom of her ear.

"Here first." JJ promised before smiling brightly, tossing Emily a wink and making her way out of the bar where she'd be able to hear a phone conversation.

Emily swallowed a pleasantly frustrated groan and waved at the bartender to bring her another beer, shaking her head with a smile on her face as she watched JJ leave. That smile disappeared when she saw the blonde shake her head tersely as she pushed past a man trying to corner her on her way out, Emily getting a good look at him when he faced the bar fully. She turned back to the bar counter with a scowl when she saw who it was. Allan Hines worked in the same building they did and was JJ's ex from the last serious relationship she'd had before Emily. Granted, even though JJ had broken up with Allan over two years previous and she'd dated casually before the brunette had come along, Allan still couldn't seem to get it through his head that not only was JJ off the market, even if she weren't she didn't want anything to do with the cocky jerk. Outside his admittedly good looks, he didn't have much going for him and Emily had nothing but distaste for the man. JJ had stated on more than one occasion that a combination of loneliness, someone understanding the nature of her working hours intimately, and sheer stupidity had been the perfect combination that contributed to her severe lack of judgment and why she'd not only dated him in the first place, but stayed with him for nearly a year.

"Hey there, Emily." Allan said, taking JJ's vacated seat.

"Hines." She greeted curtly without looking at him, smiling at the bartender when he placed a fresh bottle of Yuengling in front of her.

"I see you're still kidding yourself with JJ." He said smoothly.

Emily rolled her eyes. Somehow Allan had managed to date JJ for practically an entire calendar year without knowing the first thing about her and had convinced himself that any of her dalliances with women were a result of her trying to reclaim his attention rather than any real attraction on her part. "Can't you go breathe someone else's air?"

He let out a sincere chuckle, thinking he'd struck a nerve. "I don't blame you, Prentiss." He confided mirthfully. "No one could; you can't really pass up a piece like JJ. If I were a dyke, I'd be fooling myself too."

Emily snorted and shook her head. She was used to asinine, bigoted comments from straight men—at this point in her life, there wasn't anything they could try to rile her up with that she hadn't heard before. "Yeah, you sure got me there. I'm sure the last seven months have just been a long, drawn out game." Allan frowned when she said 'seven months' and Emily smirked at him.

"JJ's not like you." He said, sounding offended.

The smirk on Emily's face grew wider as she retorted impudently; "she's more like me than she is like you."

"I _mean_ she's not a fucking lesbian." He spat as if that needed to be clarified.

Emily shrugged. "Of course she's not."

Allan blinked several times as if he weren't expecting Emily to agree with him but then he leaned forward on his elbows, a gleam in his eye and a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "So you're admitting that this whole," he waved his hand vaguely at her. " _Thing_ , isn't real?"

"Hines," Emily started as if she were genuinely curious about his response to what she was going to say. "How is it that you've gone through your whole life up until now having never heard of bisexuality? Didn't you transfer here from San Francisco?" she shook her head and took a pull from her beer. "Amazing." She said the word as though it were a synonym for 'jackass.'

"Oh _come on_ , Prentiss." Allan laughed. "Is _that_ what you're telling yourself? That's not even _real_. 'Bisexuality' is something gay guys say when they're lying to themselves and something straight women say for guys' attention. And _trust me_ when I say JJ certainly has my attention."

Emily stared at him blankly before shaking her head again. "Why in the hell Jennifer punished herself for being with you that long is so far beyond me, I can't even…" she trailed off and took another drink. "You're an idiot. Get out of here, Hines. My night was perfect up until you sat down."

"Because you know I'm a threat."

"Only to my patience."

He grinned. "Do you _really_ think _you_ can satisfy a woman who goes both ways?"

Emily shot him an incredibly smug grin coupled with a raise of her eyebrows in lieu of a verbal answer and that seemed to piss him off.

Allan tossed back whatever amber coloured liquid had been sitting in the tumbler he had with him, making a sour face before slamming the glass on the counter. "She's gonna leave your ass the second she starts missing the good stuff."

Emily rolled her eyes. "Hold your breath until it happens."

"You know those greedy chicks are all the same, they're just itching for some,"

Emily's glare cut him off and she lowered her voice, her tone cold. "Say one more stupid thing about JJ or her sexuality; I _dare_ you."

Allan grinned, positive he'd worked his way under the brunette's skin and exposed her doubts. "See? You know I'm right. Give her to me and save yourself the trouble. She's nothing but a slu—"

The end of his sentence turned into a pained (and surprised) grunt when Emily's right fist connected with his cheek with enough force to cause him to tip back off the barstool, only managing to keep from falling over by stumbling backwards in a daze. He looked like he was going to lunge for the brunette, but after one unsteady step, his legs wobbled dangerously underneath him and he had to hold on to a nearby table to remain upright when his knees gave out. Behind the bar, the bartender shook his head and motioned to the casually dressed bar security near the back to come collect Allan who was swaying and looked a little ill.

"Get him a cab and get him out of here." The bartender advised once the bouncer had Allan practically tucked under his arm.

"Thanks, Tony." Emily said, raising her bottle in a toast to the bartender before flexing her hand to soothe her knuckles. "I didn't mean to start trouble."

The bartender shook his head. "Forget about it; I'm sure it won't surprise you that _that_ trouble'd been started _ages_ ago. If you hadn't socked him, _I_ would have. I've been looking for a reason to kick that guy out of here for weeks."

Emily smiled and watched the bouncer half carry Allan out of the bar, passing JJ on her way back in who regarded her ex curiously for a moment before making her way back to her girlfriend.

"What happened to him?" JJ asked, accepting the quick kiss Emily gave her.

Emily shrugged nonchalantly. "He drank too much I guess." She reasoned.

JJ nodded at the plausible answer until she noticed her girlfriend absentmindedly rubbing the knuckles of her right hand and flexing it slightly like it was sore. She brought the brunette's hand up to eye level and examined the back of it, rubbing her fingers gently over her knuckles. "What happened to your hand, baby?"

Emily hummed indifferently, twisting her hand in JJ's grasp so that she was holding one of the blonde's hands. "I bumped it against something stupid."

JJ glanced over her shoulder towards the bar entrance and then at the bartender with a raised eyebrow. Tony just grinned and shook his head, deciding to wander down to the other end of the bar to wipe down some glasses. JJ returned her attention to Emily who was using her free hand to drink her beer and was regarding her with a mischievous look.

"Why do I feel like you had something to do with that?" JJ asked in a playfully suspicious tone.

"I honestly don't know what you're talking about." Emily replied with a smile.

JJ laughed lightly; she knew well enough about both Allan and her girlfriend that whatever had happened to him, he deserved it. Still, she asked, "was it worth it at least?"

Emily tugged JJ closer to her and kissed her soundly, running her tongue along the seam of the blonde's lips and pulling away with a gentle nip to her lower lip as soon as JJ made to deepen the kiss. "I'd definitely do it again, if that's what you mean." Emily slid off her stool and directly into what little personal space JJ had left, gripping her hips and pulling her closer to kiss her languidly, only stepping away when a soft groan escaped JJ's throat. "Come on, Jayje." Emily said with a grin, slowly walking backwards towards the dance floor. "I thought you wanted to dance."

"God, I love you." JJ mumbled dreamily before shaking herself of her stupor and grabbing hold of Emily's hand as the brunette turned around to lead them to the crowded floor.


End file.
